Arguments do not sour relationships; rather, their handling does. Though it is unavoidable, the damage starts when conflict becomes a cycle of guilt, defensiveness, and silent treatment. A marital and family therapist like connectionscs does not merely show up when things are disintegrating. Rather than hiding problems, they teach couples and families how to fight properly, improve their listening skills, and really address problems.
Ever tried to discuss something significant just to have it devolve into a fight over something quite unrelated? That’s ordinary. Emotions rule, old scars come back, and all of a sudden a little argument about dishes becomes a discussion about who cares more. A therapist keeps talks from veering into old patterns by helping to slow things down.
While some people overreact, others close down under conflict. While one person might wish to discuss everything right away, the other might require time to sort it. Neither is bad, but every argument seems like an uphill fight without knowing each other’s styles. Therapy helps close the gap such that one person feels suffocated while the other feels neglected instead.
Then there is the problem of really hearing one another. People want to be understood rather than merely listened to. But at times of great conflict, language become distorted, goals are misinterpreted, and presumptions rule. By getting to the root of the problem, a therapist can strip away the noise and so enable both individuals to feel affirmed rather than discounted.
There is no opponent in conflict. Steering clear of it or managing it poorly is One ability a marriage and family therapist can help you acquire is knowing how to disagree in a way that promotes insight rather than estrangement. Ultimately, it’s about building the relationship you have with the people that count most, not about winning debates.